I was numb (without realising)

Hi Friend

It's my favourite time of the year because the weather is beautiful.

No rain. No sweat. Great food - hot chocolate, hot coffee, hot everything with cold weather. The perfect combination.

I'm writing this from the comfort of my table after a slightly heavy lunch, sunday church and music playing in my ears (that's how I work).

Silence around me, except the clickity-clack of my keyboard where I'm punching away the exact words you are reading. However...

Things weren't this comfortable last week around

For the first time in months, I realised last week that I was numb.

What do I mean?

You notice how life goes on? Everything is fine.

Work goes on well.Social life is quite happening.Your side pursuits are consistent.

Yet something is amiss. You can't put a finger on it (which is why I never observed this feeling).

Unfortunately/ fortunately for me, 4 people pointed it out to me."You're silent this week""You seem off""Why're you not your usual self?"

That got me thinking, and I ended up asking my friend Chris about this. He heard my side of things, and then, simply asked me:

Rainar, When was the last time you took a break?

"Break? easy. Last month when I travelled. Last week when I went out and met friends."

He saw through my bs (I think) and asked me again

"When was the last time you did nothing? alone? spending time with yourself?"

That's when it struck me. I've been on autopilot for months.

• Doing

• Consuming

• Working

I never stopped, and, ironically, I stopped within. It's not a pleasant feeling, but the realization of it is key and if you are feeling/ have felt this way all I can say is spend some time to check in with yourself (even if things are going well)

The concept of noting

Noting is a meditation practice but I'd like to extend the analogy here into our daily lives. The fundamental idea is this:

Notice when when we are caught up in something so completely that we have lost our awareness

I needed people to tell me this. You don't have to.

A great way to not lose our awareness completely is creating a space for ourselves where we do nothing.

For me it was:

• No social media• No 'productivity'

For you it could be a day without screens, or a day in the outskirts, a long ride alone, a swim - what works for you!

What did I do?

• I saw a movie on Netflix• I played FIFA

Yes neither of those are a crime (especially when they help you distance yourself from the noise around you).

I feel better now, today, as I send this out and I hope to pay more attention (noting) to my awareness.

That means regular mindfulness practices and journaling for me so that I don't tell myself BS and live in denial (and maybe, just maybe you do the same)

Just Remember To

be compassionate and kind to yourself

get out of your own way

that you are human being, you deserve happiness, kindness, rest and joy

(Special thanks to Chris Hewitt for reminding me)

I hope this helps you get out of your own way.Until then,stay safe friend

CheersRainarxx